there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
