You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
porn star boner night. come get it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
