I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
