Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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