I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
