Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
