I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
