I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
