New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
