Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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