I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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