So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
