Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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