MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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