On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
