ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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