I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
