Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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