I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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