In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
