this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
