I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
