You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
