she was so not down for the gang bang
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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