My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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