i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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