Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
