I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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