I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm at about main and main street
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
