yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
