No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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