Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
