I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
