I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
