i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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