I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
