im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize