while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
