scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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