If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
