You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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