Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize