I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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