everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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