I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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