Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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