I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
