we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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