the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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