I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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