i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
