halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
