her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And my parents said I crawled through the house
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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