Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
