i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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