do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Barsexuality is the new black.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
