I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
