"it" just moved
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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