it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
