Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
