I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
