just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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